What? A guarantee? Every time I see or think of a company and their guarantee, for some reason I think of Chris Farley in “Tommy Boy” (see dialogue from movie at the end of this post).

It seems that every company worth their salt has some sort of guarantee, and since Snoloha is worth at least enough salt for a margarita I thought I’d create a Snoloha guarantee.

As you may already know, Snoloha is a lifestyle shared by those who live, play, travel, vacation, relax, or simply enjoy life somewhere between the islands and the arctic. It’s carrying a vacation mentality through everyday life.
When you wear your Snoloha gear, or simply think of the Snoloha brand, it should help you escape to “your somewhere”. That “somewhere” might be a boat in the Caribbean or a ski lodge in Canada; a secret remote sliver of beach on one of The Great Lakes or getting lost on a hiking trail in a Rocky Mountain state; a favorite drink at the tiki bar, or a hot cup of coffee on a cold winter morning.

Your “somewhere” is that place you escape to relax, to unwind and to enjoy. Where you feel the most at ease or the most inspired. Where you feel the most invigorated or the most calm.

So whether you’re stuck in the office, in traffic, at home or simply somewhere you’d prefer not to be, Snoloha is determined to help you escape. Especially in today’s doom and gloom news coverage, a little escapism can go a long way. If you feel that Snoloha is not able to help you escape from the realities of everyday life now and then, let me know and we can get to work making it right! How? It’ll be case-by-case, I’m sure.

And while we’re at it, “Where is your somewhere?” Let me know. Send a photo.

I have several:

  • Ivan’s Stress Free Bar on Jost Van Dyke
  • Maho Bay on St. John
  • Any winter hike through freshly fallen snow.
  • Simply sitting on a boat (being under sail or under power is always better, but sometimes never leaving the marina or the dock is just fine).
  • Simply sitting in an old car (driving one is always better, but sometimes the chance to sit, grab the wheel and smell that “old car smell” is just fine).
  • Northern tip of the Old Mission Peninsula. Hike out to the end. Continue to carefully jump out onto the furthest rock you’re able to. You are now completely surrounded by water. Ahead of you is the open water of Lake Michigan. Turn around and face south. On your left is East Grand Traverse Bay. On your right is West Grand Traverse Bay. At this point you are practically standing on the 45th Parallel – Halfway Between the Equator and North Pole.

From “Tommy Boy”:

Tommy: Let’s think about this for a sec, Ted, why do they put a guarantee on a box? Hmm, very interesting.
Ted: I’m listening.
Tommy: Here’s how I see it. A guy puts a guarantee on the box ’cause he wants you to feel all warm and toasty inside.
Ted: Yeah, makes a man feel good.
Tommy: ‘Course it does. Ya think if you leave that box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter.
Ted: What’s your point?
Tommy: The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn’t a crazy glue sniffer? “Building model airplanes” says the little fairy, but we’re not buying it. Next thing you know, there’s money missing off the dresser and your daughter’s knocked up, I seen it a hundred times.
Ted: But why do they put a guarantee on the box then?
Tommy: Because they know all they sold ya was a guaranteed piece of sh*t.”



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